Clouded Reasoning

One of the main reasons I started this blog (especially when there are six/seven links to your left of really inspirational authors) is to describe my journey of dealing with minimalism. I started with areas that weren't really personal - like my bathroom - which only contained items bought because of the smell or something like that but with no inherent value.

Tim and I have been doing well with this little adventure over the past four or five days (yes, we minimalized our bathroom, kitchen, walk-in and entrance in this time period. I should note, I've been a bit better about this than him.) but now it's time for me to hit the living room or the bedroom (especially my desk) and I'm hitting a block .

I'm a bit overwhelmed. I think "let me go through just the dresser - not even touch the clothes on the floor," or "I'll just do one drawer of the desk" and I can't muster up the energy. I'm a bit upset at the thought of throwing away things of mine that I have had since I was a kid but I have never touched or used. One such item is my Sailor Moon pencil case I've had since I was 14 but never used because I thought it would get banged up in a bookbag. I still have no use for it, but it is hard to think I'll never see it again and that the comfort I get from seeing it and acknowledging my past will be gone for good.

It's a bit heartbreaking really, and I think I need just a few more days to deal with this notion before I really come to terms with giving it up. And not just the pencil case - but things that I pretend have meaning.

Day One

My original quest to become a minimalist was when I moved out of my mother's apartment and into my (first) dorm room at the age of 18. At that point I had a mantra that continuously repeated itself in my head "I will NEVER go back home!" A deep desire for independence combined with the actual means of achieving it, I decided that I would now be on my own.

Since moving out of my mother's I have moved 7 times. Let me contextualize that: 7 times in 4 years. I know some have had it worse, but I am a bit sick of it. Sometimes moving made me toss things out; sometimes I gained way more than necessary. In a bigger apartment I acquired more things, in a smaller apartment... sometimes I just wouldn't get rid of "more things"...

Now 22 - soon to be 23 - and leaving college, I anticipate that I will be moving yet again and (hopefully) making a paycheck. With this in mind, I think it is imperative that I begin my journey to learn how to cope with minimalism for a variety of reasons.

I want less stuff.
I want to save money.
I want to conserve my money.
I want to not have to clean all the time.
I want to stop accidentally buying doubles.
And,
I do not want to have to pack up everything again to move.

I'm sure more desires will come from learning how to desire less. In the meanwhile, I hope to become clutter free both figuratively, literally, and metaphorically.